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I was a truck driver when I wrote this. I guess I was in some kind of weird mood. But as
you know writing is 100% about what mood you're in at the time. Some people take
writing way too seriously. There's no right or wrong. There's no limits. My opinion is
'just write.' This is just a fun goofy piece I call "Extremely Urgent". Hope you enjoy it.
Extremely urgent!!
While I do want to alarm anyone, I feel it's my duty as a concerned citizen to report on a
few problems that have been apparently overlooked by the news media. I am
extremely concerned about these problems and I will be spearheading a committee to
look into them immediately.
1. I am a truck driver and as part of my job I recently had to deliver a truck load of
tennis balls to the Nashville TN area. Yes that's right, I said tennis balls. I know….I was
shocked my self. I was unaware of the tennis ball crisis in Nashville. The news stations
obviously were too busy with trivial things such as war and politics to report on such
an important issue. It's just a travesty. I too am unnerved by this unacceptable
situation. Let's remain calm and try not to panic. It is my understanding that the tennis
ball shortage has been averted just in the nick of time, but I think everyone should
know exactly how close Nashville came to having no tennis balls at all.
2. Recently I was told by a reliable source that some of the local restaurants may be
using too much mayonnaise in their chicken salad. I will not reveal my source, but I
want you to know, I trust this person completely. Once again I have to say "Don't
panic." Yes mayonnaise is disgusting and should be outlawed immediately. Mayo is
just plain nasty and has been a bane on society for way too long. I am very worried that
some innocent person is going to wander into a restaurant and unknowingly order the
chicken salad. Yes it's a horrible thought and I apologize for being so graphic. But that
is the reality of the situation. If we all work together and remain vigilant, maybe we can
insure for future generations that only the proper amount of mayonnaise is used in the
chicken salad. If not then God help us all.
3. The word "reckless." This word is unacceptable to me.
It is my understanding that the suffix "less" is to mean without. Therefore a reckless
person would be without wrecks. Isn't that a good thing?
If a person is a reckless driver he is assumed to be a dangerous and bad driver. I think
this is wrong. If a person is a bad driver wouldn't he be wreckful?
I will be doing some investigating and taking surveys to find out how these frightening
issues can be corrected. The news media has failed to report on these problems and I
felt it was my duty to inform you. I am asking you now to join the fight. Don't let these
travesties continue.
Together we can stand shoulder to shoulder and put a stop these and many other
important issues. Imagine all the poor little doggies if they didn't have bright green
tennis balls to frolic around with. Imagine if a child gets too much mayonnaise on
his/her chicken salad. It's a terrifying thought I know. If someone calls you 'reckless' tell
them 'thank you being wreck less is much better than being wreck full.'
Your friend in these dark and troubled times doing my part to make the world a better
place.
Steve Z.
you know writing is 100% about what mood you're in at the time. Some people take
writing way too seriously. There's no right or wrong. There's no limits. My opinion is
'just write.' This is just a fun goofy piece I call "Extremely Urgent". Hope you enjoy it.
Extremely urgent!!
While I do want to alarm anyone, I feel it's my duty as a concerned citizen to report on a
few problems that have been apparently overlooked by the news media. I am
extremely concerned about these problems and I will be spearheading a committee to
look into them immediately.
1. I am a truck driver and as part of my job I recently had to deliver a truck load of
tennis balls to the Nashville TN area. Yes that's right, I said tennis balls. I know….I was
shocked my self. I was unaware of the tennis ball crisis in Nashville. The news stations
obviously were too busy with trivial things such as war and politics to report on such
an important issue. It's just a travesty. I too am unnerved by this unacceptable
situation. Let's remain calm and try not to panic. It is my understanding that the tennis
ball shortage has been averted just in the nick of time, but I think everyone should
know exactly how close Nashville came to having no tennis balls at all.
2. Recently I was told by a reliable source that some of the local restaurants may be
using too much mayonnaise in their chicken salad. I will not reveal my source, but I
want you to know, I trust this person completely. Once again I have to say "Don't
panic." Yes mayonnaise is disgusting and should be outlawed immediately. Mayo is
just plain nasty and has been a bane on society for way too long. I am very worried that
some innocent person is going to wander into a restaurant and unknowingly order the
chicken salad. Yes it's a horrible thought and I apologize for being so graphic. But that
is the reality of the situation. If we all work together and remain vigilant, maybe we can
insure for future generations that only the proper amount of mayonnaise is used in the
chicken salad. If not then God help us all.
3. The word "reckless." This word is unacceptable to me.
It is my understanding that the suffix "less" is to mean without. Therefore a reckless
person would be without wrecks. Isn't that a good thing?
If a person is a reckless driver he is assumed to be a dangerous and bad driver. I think
this is wrong. If a person is a bad driver wouldn't he be wreckful?
I will be doing some investigating and taking surveys to find out how these frightening
issues can be corrected. The news media has failed to report on these problems and I
felt it was my duty to inform you. I am asking you now to join the fight. Don't let these
travesties continue.
Together we can stand shoulder to shoulder and put a stop these and many other
important issues. Imagine all the poor little doggies if they didn't have bright green
tennis balls to frolic around with. Imagine if a child gets too much mayonnaise on
his/her chicken salad. It's a terrifying thought I know. If someone calls you 'reckless' tell
them 'thank you being wreck less is much better than being wreck full.'
Your friend in these dark and troubled times doing my part to make the world a better
place.
Steve Z.
PEACHES
Peaches are my favorite fruit...I could eat a peach for hours. When I see a basket of
peaches I always take my time and inspect them....looking for that perfect one. I
immediately know it when I find it. It's firm with a hint of softness in all the right places.
It's warm and has the right texture. I turn it over and over in my hands admiring it's
beauty; Studying each imperfection that gives it just the right character. I fall in love
with it...
I anticipate that first bite....I can almost feel the juices rolling down my chin and taste
the warm sweetness of it. I want it....I can wait no more....That first bite is like a sexual
experience....erotic and sensual. It's almost orgasmic and better than I imagined only
seconds before.....I could eat a peach for hours.
Peaches are my favorite fruit...I could eat a peach for hours. When I see a basket of
peaches I always take my time and inspect them....looking for that perfect one. I
immediately know it when I find it. It's firm with a hint of softness in all the right places.
It's warm and has the right texture. I turn it over and over in my hands admiring it's
beauty; Studying each imperfection that gives it just the right character. I fall in love
with it...
I anticipate that first bite....I can almost feel the juices rolling down my chin and taste
the warm sweetness of it. I want it....I can wait no more....That first bite is like a sexual
experience....erotic and sensual. It's almost orgasmic and better than I imagined only
seconds before.....I could eat a peach for hours.
It took me a while but I finally learned life isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. Take your
time, enjoy life. Every step is another step toward your final destination. (Those
are wild movies aren't they?) I guess what I'm trying to say is life is an amazing
journey. I don't know where I'm going but I'll see you when I get there.
I have a few things written here, but most of my blogs are at Wordpress.com which
is a great blogging site. You can click on the link or on the silly looking wolf on the
left and you will be magically taken to Wordpress.com. Isn't technology cool?
time, enjoy life. Every step is another step toward your final destination. (Those
are wild movies aren't they?) I guess what I'm trying to say is life is an amazing
journey. I don't know where I'm going but I'll see you when I get there.
I have a few things written here, but most of my blogs are at Wordpress.com which
is a great blogging site. You can click on the link or on the silly looking wolf on the
left and you will be magically taken to Wordpress.com. Isn't technology cool?
